The Past
by Skylark Evanson
Summary: The start was... grim.


**A/N: I just saw the opportunity for this, and now I got it down into words. Hope you enjoy.**

**Sidenote: There's only one part that isn't canon to the show, but it's one of those things that was never touched on. Just the second sentence, so blow on past that and you're good.**

**Disclaimer: No, I don't own. VIVA LA TITAN!**

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><p>The start was... grim.<p>

My past wasn't good after my mom died and then my dad went to working harder to get through it. I managed mostly on my own, but that still didn't make it easy. It did make me self-sufficient. It made me stronger as an individual.

Then when my dad died, well... That was the hardest part of living.

Knowing he wasn't there every time I'd wake up looking for him. Never getting cookies or waffles or whatever other sugar he'd bring me. He brought me pudding once...

It hurt. I was alone to begin with. At two A.M., I'd get my social time for the next twenty-four hours. Then he'd leave and I'd take care of myself, tuck myself back in the next night and wait for another story when he woke me up.

Except he wouldn't wake me up. Not again.

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><p>The academy was... better.<p>

And worse.

The first day was definitely the worst. Surviving the first day opened up a few doors.

I got to learn. God, did I ever get to learn... Everything I could ever want to know. Martial arts. Weapons. Killing styles. How to hate. How to love. It was all just so incredible. I was used to science from my dad, but this place... This was a whole new world, a new door opening.

They gave me explosives. That was the best part, I think. They'd let a few of us hang around until they'd ask us to throw our grenades over the fence and into the war zone, aiming for the target painted on the charred and scorched ground.

The food sucked, the lessons rocked, the weapons were absolutely amazing. I don't think I would change any part of that.

And the Medal of Excellency... That was the best day I ever had. I got to beat the snot out of Baron... With my father's weapon... Maybe it's revenge from the grave, a weapon being used by the son of it's father to extract vengeance on those who have done the son wrong... It makes sense, but it's hard to really put into words and think about.

That was what he got for messing with the bull. He got the horns. And Manus armor.

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><p>The Manus armor. No one believed me when I told them my dad created it. He told me all about it. The power core, the shield systems. He told me how all the weapons worked, how they could be used against attacks from other Manus armor and even against some of the worst Mutraddi fire. That armor was my whole life.<p>

Literally, too. It saved my life countless times. On the battlefield. On Earth. It's been my heart and soul for as long as I can remember. Manus armor. Wouldn't it have been funny if he'd named it Lance armor? Then those kid's would've believed me... Maybe they would've been my friends.

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><p>When Arthur left, I was completely and utterly alone. I wasn't used to the thought of having a real friend in the first place. He was always hanging around, always ready to talk, always telling me unimportant things.<p>

That was friendship? Seemed like a foreign language to me.

Arthur was... something. There's no way to describe him. He was fun, he was nice, he was a good friend.

Although he didn't know the meaning of loyalty.

I guess I didn't either, at that point. I knew it meant sticking by someone's side and being there for them. That was why I was always defending him against Baron. I knew what friends were supposed to do. I knew how friends were supposed to be. Arthur and I were friends, weren't we?

And the second I messed up his reputation as a good kid, he bailed. Packed up his bag, said he couldn't deal with me anymore. Asked for a new room assignment.

He was nice. He was supposed to be my friend. He should've trusted me more. He should've stayed a little bit longer. I even tried to save him once after he left. It was my pitiful attempt to rekindle our friendship. He didn't even think about coming with me.

I stopped trying to make friends after that.

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><p>Baron was a bear. He hated me from the start. All the kids hated me specifically because he hated me.<p>

He tormented me. He punched me. He kicked me. He ruined me. He destroyed me. He punished me.

It was like he was everything I never could be.

He was strong; I was weak. He was brave; I was gutless. He was influential; I was the orphan. He was the strength; i was the weakness. He was Baron; I was Lance.

But Baron made me stronger.

Every punch I took from him made me want to hate myself and made me want to hit him twice as hard. Every time he kicked me, I wanted to gouge his eyes out. And every time he called me an orphan, I wanted to murder him right on the spot.

He made me strong. He gave me the will to kill in cold blood. He made me realize that the world's a cruel place and that there was no room for weakness.

So I built myself up. Strong. Brave. Fearless. Worthy. Powerful. Willing. Ready for anything. Push-ups every night for an hour because of him. Constant physical training because of him. Never-ending pain of the heart and mind. Because of him.

"Orphan!"

I would always want to kill him...

He was never worth my time, but all those moments I spent training myself so I could kill him, I was training for my future.

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><p><strong>AN: And now I'm happy. Like? Don't like? Review?**

**~Sky**


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